Short, Blond and In Love
by LittleDonutTohrou
Summary: “You’re with the woman you love again! I couldn’t think of any better news!” . . . For you, at least. Meliodas is blond. So is Elaine. Meliodas is short. So is Elaine. Meliodas is madly in love with Ban and wants nothing to ever get in the way of making the fox sin love him. ... So is Elaine.
1. Jealousy

_"You're with the woman you love again! I couldn't think of any better news!"_

_..._

_'For you, at least.'_

As wrong as it may have been for Meliodas to have lied while stating this, what could he really do? Ban got the love of his life back, finally, and Meliodas should be happy for him. God, he _really_ wanted to be happy for him.

But, every time the blond thought about Ban and Elaine together, his heart burned with an indescribable jealousy, anger bubbling up inside of him.

What did that short, flat elf have that he didn't?

And it wasn't like Ban didn't notice it, either.

When Meliodas had walked past the Fox sin, his back now to the tall male, his face changed from an obviously fake grin to a distant frown. His eyes looked defeated, and overall he seemed sad.

And he _was_ sad.

Sad to see how happy Elaine and Ban were together, and that she was to stay at the Boar Hat, so they could rub it in his face all the more.

Which was actually what had led to this exact moment.

The Sins were all sat in a row at the bar. They were chugging alcohol, being drunk and laughing at jokes that were just as necessary as they were funny.

Gowther, truly trying to make his friends laugh, decided he would make another joke. It wasn't the joke he told that made the Sins all crack up, it was the alcohol and the sad attempt at being funny.

Meliodas, being no exception, laughed heartily with everyone else, but then made the mistake of turning his head to look at Ban and Elaine.

With what he saw, his fists clenched in anger—hard enough for the cup he was holding to break.

The couple was making out in broad daylight. Ban's hands rested on Elaine's waist, and her hands were tangled in the male's hair.

"Woah, Captain. You alright?"

Meliodas jumped slightly at the sound of King's voice butting into his thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine. Everything's just _**splendid**_."

"Yeah, I call b.s. You looked mad—like, pissed—while you had your head in the clouds. And don't think I didn't notice the cup. What's going on?" King floated above his head.

The blond pointed over to the source of the problem, averting King's gaze.

King reluctantly looked up to see exactly what the Captain was fussing about. He looked fazed by the sight of Ban and Elaine _still_ eating each other's faces, but not much.

"Well, they're a couple. I don't see the problem."

"That's because you don't _feel_ the way I do..."

"What are you talking about?"

"Allow me to intervene." Gowther butted in.

He shot some of his magic into Meliodas's neck and looked into his glasses.

"Gowther, I swear to—"

"Oh, I see. So the Captain is in lo—"

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE IT'S GETTING REALLY LATE WE SHOULD ALL GO TO BED LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!"

Everyone stared at their Captain—who was making a quick retreat upstairs—for his sudden outburst. Hell, even the couple in question stopped their make-out session just to give a concern and startled look.

"What the hell was that about?" Merlin asked the doll.

Gowther shrugged.

"I don't see what the problem was. I was just going to say that the Captain has caught feelings for—"

"Who cares? He was right, anyhow. We should get some shut eye. I'm beat." Ban piped up, standing from his chair. Elaine nodded and gripped Ban's arm, massaging his muscles.

"Yeah, I guess so." Diane agreed. She stood up, motioned for King to follow, and went to her room.

Everyone else complied, and with the final door being shut, Gowther stood alone.

"Why won't anyone listen to me? I wanted to say that **Captain is in love with Ban**."

ʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃ

**And that's it for today. I hope you liked the first chapter of 'Short, Blond and In Love'. If you didn't get the title, it means that both Meliodas and Elaine are short, blond, and in love with Ban. This story is for angst and comedy purposes, and Meliodas and Elaine are gonna be love rivals, fighting to see who gets Ban's love in the end.**

**Hope that clears some things up.**

**Peace out, for the first time, from Tohru herself. **


	2. Brawl!

The following morning, Meliodas woke up, almost as if nothing happened.

He stood from his bed, dressed himself and went downstairs to greet the Sins.

"Hey, you guys! Good mor—"

The blond stopped in his tracks when he saw Elaine in Ban's lap. The two were cuddling at the table, right in broad daylight.

"Oh, hey, Cap'n. You alright?" Ban asked.

The blond male's eye twitched in anger, and he answered, "Yeah...everything's just _peachy_."

He st omped down the rest of the stairs and sat behind the bar. Continuing to watch them cuddle and whisper sweet nothings to each other—whether it was a compliment or another 'I love you'—was anything but cute to Meliodas.

He made a throwing-up gesture, and Elaine opened one of her eyes.

And, god damn it, Meliodas would _not _be kidding if he told you that Elaine—the sweetest and purest woman to ever be born on planet earth—_actually _flipped him off as she kissed Ban's cheek.

So the flat-chested fucker knew of his feelings for Ban, and now she was messing with him?

Meliodas stuck his tongue out at her and pulled down his bottom eyelid.

In petty response, Elaine took Ban's hand and wrapped it tighter around her waist, then she kissed him, right on his mouth.

It turned into a make out session again, and Elaine, again, opened one eye and pointed the them, smiling into the kiss.

Meliodas growled and punched the counter.

_I thought today was gonna be a happy day in the Boar Hat, but of course she had to go and ruin it._

The two had forgotten that the Sins were all in the room, and they stared at the two, confused.

"What was that about?"

Meliodas jumped at the voice, whipping his head around to see Diane looking at him(the rest of the Sins saw it too, they were just trying to avoid eye contact).

"Nothing at all—"

"Well, you would know if you had listened to me last night."

Meliodas shot a glare at Gowther, who didn't really seem to get the memo.

"I'm just stating facts, Captain. They'll all find out eventually."

"Find out what? Captain, What is he talking about?" Diane asked again, "You know it's not good to hide things from your friends!"

"It's nothing important! Besides, everything about me was exposed already! What else is there to know?"

"Maybe just your feelings for B—"

"AAAH, MY FEELINGS FOR...UH...BACON! YES! I LIKE BACON! IT'S SO GOOD!!"

Hawk could be heard screeching in fear and retreating.

The Sins stared at their now blushing Captain like he was crazy.

"Captain," King said, breaking the silence that had ensued, "What the hell."

"We're not gonna get anything out of him this way," Merlin finally pointed out, and Meliodas was grateful for her for the first time in forever**(shhhh)**, "We're going out to town. Come on, you guys."

The couple who had been in the background the whole time stopped cuddling(which also calmed the blond's nerves).

"You're going out? I'll come with." Ban announced, gently placing Elaine on the floor.

"Hey, wait. But what about me? You wouldn't leave me all alone, would you?" Elaine innocently asked the taller, who looked at her with the softest, most loving eyes they had ever seen. Meliodas deflated a little seeing that.

_I wish he'd look at me like that..._he thought.

"Captain," Meliodas jumped, quickly slapping a smile back onto his face, "You mind staying back with Elaine while I go to town? I'll bring you both something back, or something."

Meliodas smiled, his cheeks turning pink.

"Of course not," he said, "Anything for you, Ban!"

He could feel the glare Elaine shot at him, yet chose to ignore it...at least until they all left.

"Uh, Okay?"

Then, Ban and the Sins left, Meliodas smiling and waving as the door closed. Once it did, his face turned cold.

"Alright, you! I've seen what little stunts you've been pulling! Now fess up!" The blond male growled, pointing a finger in Elaine's face.

"I've done nothing wrong! And what about you? Clinging to his arm like you're his lover! Well, newsflash! He already has one and that's _me_!" Elaine retorted, grabbing his collar.

"Oh, please! He just doesn't know love when he sees it. I'll give Ban more love than he knows what to do with!"

"Oh yeah? Game on, shorty!" Elaine flicked the ahoge standing tall on Meliodas's head.

"You're short too!"

"Blondie!"

"You're _also _blond too, stupid!"

"I'm not stupid, _you're _stupid!"

"If I'm stupid, you're stupider!"

"Stupider isn't a word, idiot!"

On and on, the two argued like stereotypical siblings. The argument ended up escalating into a fight when Meliodas shoved Elaine, countered with a punch to the shoulder, then a tug at the hair.

Hawk watched the whole thing go down, almost frightened. He didn't want to get trampled, so he stayed out of it as much as he could, grabbing some leftover scraps and enjoying the show.

••••

While the Sins were out and about, Ban had wandered off somewhere to find something nice to bring back Elaine.

Everyone else stayed together, occasionally waving to a fan of theirs or stopping to look at something they liked.

"So what's going on?" Merlin finally spoke up addressing the elephant in the room.

"Huh?"

"You know what I mean," She said, "The Captain? He's been acting strange ever since Ban's lover arrived."

"Oh, that," Gowther sighed, "Would you listen to me this time? There shouldn't be any interruptions as far as I'm concerned."

"Yeah, sorry, Gowth'." Diane giggled apologetically, scratching the nape of her neck and sticking her tongue out.

"Okay," he continued, "I've been trying to say that the Captain is in love with Ban. He's jealous of Ban and Miss Elaine."

The Sins stared at the doll, taken completely aback.

"Wait...what? The Captain what?" King questioned, trying to make sure he had heard Gowther correctly.

"That's right. He's in love. It's very obvious, actually. The way he would sometimes turn color when the two make contact, an increase in body temperature, his hearts beat hard, fast and out of synch, his voice becomes higher in pitch and he gets overly excited when somebody even says the word 'Ban'."

"Wow..." Diane mumbled, "More yaoi material for me!"

"That's interesting." Merlin smirked.

"Indeed it is. The most obvious part is how angry he gets when Elaine is in the room. It's almost quite funny, if you really think about it."

"It sure is, Gowther," Merlin chuckled, "It sure is."

••••

"Ban is mine!"

"No, he's mine!"

"That May be true, but at least I actually love him like he deserves!"

"What do you mean? I love Ban more than anything! I came back from the dead for him!"

"Yeah, and then you attacked him!"

"That doesn't mean anything! I was just showing him how much I loved him!"

"Excuses, excuses!"

"I have spoken nothing of the sort!"

"Shut it, stupid elf!"

"You Shut up, filthy demon!"

"That's racist!"

"You started it!"

"I hate you!"

"Ow! That hurt!"

"Good!"

And they were still going at it.

Punches, kicks and scratches were still being thrown everywhere, and there were even some magic attacks used at some point.

The little scuffle lasted all the way until the Sins had returned to the tavern, and even then they didn't notice until they heard,

"Captain, What the hell!!"

The two shorties froze, looking like cliche cartoon rivals.

Elaine's fist was connected with Meliodas's cheek, and her other hand was pulling on his hair. Meliodas was pushing her face away, and with his other hand he had her dress by the collar.

They were scratched up, bruised and somewhat dirty, on the floor as if one had been tackled.

Quickly, they released each other and rushed to their feet.

_"He/She started it, Ban!" They both said at the same time, glaring at each other afterward. The scene couldn't get anymore ironic._

"What in the Supreme Diety's name do you think you're doing?! She _just _came back to life!! Are you really saying I can't leave you two alone without you attacking her?!" Ban seemed to only be scolding his friend, despite the fact that he had been banged up, too. Was he really sugarcoating this for Elaine? But for what? It's not like he's their mom, or anything. They're both in love with him.

"I just came back to life too, Ban. That doesn't mean anything." Meliodas calmly sighed, ignoring the irregular(yet at the same time regular with the amount of times has gone on)beating of his hearts.

"So?! That still doesn't mean you hit a woman! _My _woman!"

It hurt Meliodas a tad when Ban said she was _his _woman. He also tried to ignore that; the stabbing pain in his hearts when those words escaped the taller's lips. The lips he wanted for his own so badly.

"It's not bad for us to hit women where we come from! You should know that, especially with me being a demon. You don't even understand why we were fighting, Ban!"

"Oh yeah? Then why _were _you fighting, Cap'. I'd love to hear it."

The Sins stood awkwardly in the background as Meliodas was wrongfully accused by his best friend. Well, not _wrongfully,_ since he did throw hands with Ban's partner, but he's a hopeless, jealous little bean. What could he say?

"Uh—I kinda...cant. Yet! I'll tell you one day, but..."

Gowther smirked watching the Captain's body language—twiddling his thumbs, head turned to the side to hide his reddening face. This was so sad.

Ban scoffed and went up to Elaine.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine now. 'Cuz you're here."

After that, they locked lips, _again._

Meliodas grumbled under his breath and stomped up the stairs.

This wasn't just love, and this sure as hell wasn't just a simple little game between rivals in romance.

Now, this was war!

••••

**So, how did you guys like this chapter? I didn't know how to end it, so I did the best I could to end it somewhat comedic-like.**

**Well, from Tohru herself,**

**Thank you for reading! Cya next chapter!**


	3. Advice

On his bed, Meliodas sat, his ear pressed against the wall. He did this every night since Elaine came back, because Ban would always shower her with compliments before they went to bed.

Yes, he knew the compliments weren't for him, and the way things were going, they may never be for him, but he and Elaine looked fairly similar, and had similar attributes, so he could always pretend.

_"Your hair is such a pretty gold."_

"Thank you." Meliodas blushed.

_"It's so soft, too. All I wanna do is run my finger through it, all day, everyday."_

"You've got my consent."

_"And your eyes. I could get lost in them for hours at a time and never want to find my way out."_

"Full Counter." He giggled.

_"Your skin is so smooth. I'd like to cuddle with you forever."_

"You're welcome to anytime, my love."

_"I just love you so much. I'm so glad you're back with me."_

"Yeah..." Meliodas sighed, "I love you too."

It was sad, actually. Sad that he had to do that just to feel loved, just to get the experience of Ban loving him. And even though it feels all nice and warm when he does it, he will always have it in the back of his mind that those compliments weren't his. They were for somebody else, just overheard by the wrong ears.

He could never tell Ban how he felt. It was so easy before—any time, he could have just walked right up to his best friend like a man(one with sweaty palms, shaky legs and a red face) and time him right on, five simple words, "I'm in love with you!"—an everything would have been fine. But, of course, life had other plans.

The lovesick blond pulled his ear away from the wall in fear of taking those words seriously, and decided that he'd get some sleep, and in the morning, he would seek some advice, and from anyone. Anyone who was successful in romance and was willing to listen.

••••

"Lil' Gil, how did you do it?"

"Huh?"

Meliodas now sat next to Gilthunder, the next day.

He thought that if anyone knew how to get out of this disaster, it would be him. He was the first person he could think of that was successful in this field.

"With Margaret," Meloiodas clarified, "How did you get her to love you?"

"I don't know. Why? Did something happen?" Gilthunder said in a teasing tone.

"Well, yeah..."

"Who's the lucky person?"

Gilthunder didn't name a specific gender because he already knew Meliodas was bisexual. Well, he was the first one to find out. Wherever there was air, people knew he wasn't straight. Though, they didn't make a big deal out of it. In fact, he seemed to become even more popular among the villages after the information of the Captain of The Seven Deadly Sins's sexuality leaked to everything that walked.

"Would you be surprised if I told you it was Ban?"

Gilthunder silenced for a moment, eyes wider than Hawk.

"Really?? You like Ban?"

"Yeah, but some things happened, and now I don't know what to do. Do you think you can help?"

Gil pondered for a moment, scratching his chin.

"Wanna explain first?"

"Oh, right," Meliodas sighed, "Well, as you now know, I love Ban. Actually, I have been since a few weeks after we first met. I was planning on confessing to him, but guess who chickened out and waited until he decided he would take some time off of the team?"

Gilthunder shook his head slowly.

"Yep. I was really upset when he went, but I knew I'd see him again. And when I did, I was super happy. Right when I was getting ready to hurry up and spill the beans, I noticed that while he was gone, he managed to bring back Elaine, the woman he loved and lost."

The pink-headed male was lost for words. Just what did this little man-child get himself into?

"Everything was fine for a little bit. I was happy for him, despite the loss. But then, just recently, Elaine started to get a little competitive. To say the least, I squared up and now I have to pay the consequences. And no, not the guilt of laying my hands on my best friend's girl, but the fact that now I have no chance. If I tell him now, he'll hate me forever, but if I don't tell him at all, I think I might go crazy. And for some reason, I feel like I just can't lose to her. Especially not when she and I are basically the same person, the only real difference being gender and race."

Still, he left the other male completely agape.

This is such a complex issue—more complex than the resurrection of the Commandments. Meliodas backed himself into a corner with this situation, and all because he was too late to confess his feelings. Feeling like there was nothing else to say but the truth, that's exactly what Gilthunder said to him.

"Meliodas, I'm sorry, but I can't help you there. This is a little much, and it was all because you made the mistake of playing the waiting game with your love interest."

"I know...Are you really saying that you don't have even the littlest bit of advice I could use? Just to make this even the least bit easier?"

Gil shook his head, and he was right. Not even Author-Senpai could think of a way to get out of this situation, and that's saying something, because she wrote the story.

"All I can really say is it's going to be alright. Maybe I wasn't the best person to ask about this, since it was east for me to get with Margaret, since the feeling was already mutual from the beginning."

Meliodas sighed, thanking Gilthunder and taking his leave. Maybe he could ask her...

••••

"What?!?!"

"Zaneri, please!"

"You're right, sorry. But are you kidding me??"

"It's really complicated..."

"You got that right." Jenna says, rolling her eyes.

"Well, now you know how I felt." Jenna patted Zaneri's back when she said that.

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in," Meliodas groaned, "But this is serious. If I lose to her, I don't think I could live with myself. Or at least, not without Ban."

The goddesses looked at each other before softening.

"Okay," Zaneri said, "I know what it feels like to be in a situation...similar to this. The only way I could really think of to somewhat solve this is to just tell him how you feel."

"Huh?! There's no way I can do that!! With the way things are going now, he'll quit the Sins if I tell him!"

Meliodas was panicking.

Was that really the only way to get out of this shitshow? There _had _to have been another way.

They just had to figure out what it was ASAP.

"Well, I don't know what else you can really do, Meliodas." Jenny shook her head.

"Right. The only way you can deal with this is to do it head on, like a man. Tell him how you feel and leave it at that." Zaneri told Meliodas.

"And worst case scenario is he rejects you. But if he does, don't be sad! Feel proud! If he doesn't want you then that means you're too good for him! You don't need a man!" Jenny pepped Meliodas up.

It didn't seem to work, but she tried.

"Uh...thanks...? But..."

"Here he goes again, being all negative..."

"I'm not sure if I can handle rejection. What if I just...drop some hints? That I love him?"

Zaneri rolled her eyes and didn't respond.

"Do whatever you want, but he _will _know one way or another." Jenny glared, "Now go! Go to your love!"

"Uh—Okay. Thank you guys!" Meliodas shouted, making his way back to the tavern.

Operation: Fox's Heart is a go!

ʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ•

**Alright, the comedic Operation thing wasn't funny. And the name sucked ass, but you know what...? Shut up! Ha! Take that!**

**Imma just go now.**

**Thanks for he hearts! And for following the story! I greatly appreciate it!**

**From Tohru herself,**

**Cya next time!! **


	4. Initiate

Stepping inside of the Boar Hat, Meliodas pondered ways he could show his beloved his feelings.

Everything he wanted to do with Ban to show him how he felt required them to be in a relationship, or for them to both be single.

It seemed no matter what he thought of, there was always one roadblock that stood in the way of the blond and his best friend becoming something more—Elaine.

He considered becoming a yandere, but he knew that would never work. He'd get arrested and Ban would never even look at him again.

"Maybe I just have to be more physical." He murmured to himself, taking a seat next to the Fox Sin. Surprisingly, Elaine didn't seem to be in the room.

Meliodas placed a hand on Ban's bicep.

"Hey, buddy. Where's your girlfriend?" the demon teased, and the word 'girlfriend' almost burned his tongue with rage and jealousy.

"She's taking a nap. I thought it'd be creepy to just sit and watch her sleep, so I just kinda left her alone for a while. Why?" Ban responded, immediately noticing the Captain's actions.

"Just asking," Meliodas said, resting his head on the taller's shoulder, "It's been a while since we hung out by ourselves. It feels nice."

With one arm, Mel hugged Ban's arm, and with the other, his finger drew circles on his muscles. He was smiling, and his face was tinted pink.

"Are you drunk?" Ban cocked an eyebrow at the strange behavior.

"It's funny," Meliodas said, completely ignoring the question, "Elaine and I look so alike it's unreal. I bet if I dressed like a girl you'd mistake me for her."

Ban chuckled.

"You've gotta be hammered. Though you're not entirely wrong."

"Would you be able to tell the difference?" The Captain smirked.

"Of course I would. I can just put my hand where it doesn't belong and find out. Remember, you two are different genders."

There was a pause.

"Actually, I might not be able to tell the difference. You may be a guy, but if I went to feel to make sure, there'd be no difference between you and her, Tiny."

Meliodas punched his shoulder, and he choked a laugh.

"Must be nice, loving someone who loves you back."

Ban still wasn't getting the message. How dense could a person be?!

"I guess so, though I don't know why you decided on that word choice. You could have just admitted that you're jealous because you're still single."

Another punch.

"Watch it, Ban." Meliodas joked.

Though the atmosphere was serene, Meliodas felt anything but that on the inside. His hearts were pounding, his insides were churning, his head was spinning. He had never been like this with Ban before, and the fact that he was now—so new—made his hearts soar.

Being together with him like this, Meliodas could feel himself falling in love all over again.

It was physically painful, and he did feel like he was going to throw up, but he was still somewhat happy.

But of course, not all good things last.

Actually, scratch that.

_No _good things that _specifically _happen to _Meliodas _last.

"Ban? Ban? Where did you go, sweetie?"

Elaine.

That damned elf! Why can't she learn to leave him alone? Always giving grief to the Captain! Sit down somewhere and stay down!

"I'm down here, baby!" Ban called. Meliodas held onto Ban tighter, hugging his arm like it was the last thing he would ever touch.

Elaine floated down the stairs, and as soon as she became visible, her face scrunched up.

The Captain didn't feel like dealing with her and her overprotective, gravity defying antics, so he let go, lifted his head from Ban's shoulder and retreated into his room.

As he ascended up the stairs, though, he made sure he'd given Elaine a little shove, but nothing too harmful.

The little elf took a seat next to her lover.

"Ban, What's going on? What was he just doing to you?" Elaine asked, taking Meliodas's place next to the man.

"I honestly don't even know. He was clinging to me for some reason. He isn't usually like that. He's probably just drunk."

She read his mind to make sure he was telling the truth, only to find a out he wasn't cheating on her with her rival after all.

_So he's making moves now, huh? Well, then, two can play at that game! _She thought.

"Hey, Ban?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't the two of us go out on a date tomorrow? Just you and I?"

Meliodas, whom was still _not _eavesdropping, scowled.

_This'll be harder than I thought._

"Isn't it _me_ who's supposed to ask _you _those kinds of things?" Ban joked.

"Yeah, I know, but you know me. Always breaking rules like the bad girl I am~!"

Ban cracked up at that. Really? Elaine? A _bad girl_? Stop playing.

"You're too cute."

"I try. So how about it?"

_Please say no, please say no, please say no! Say no to this! Say no—_

"I don't see why not."

_Fuck!!_

Then again, why did he expect anything else? Ban would do anything for Elaine, even if it meant making him mortal and killing him.

So, with a heavy heart, Meliodas continued his journey to his room, plopping down on his bed face first, and proceeding to not sleep and instead think of another way to win the Fox Sin's heart.

••••

**I forgot what it meant to have a heavy heart and actually looked it up.**

**Did you like this chapter? I think I did good this time. My favorite part was the part where Meliodas and Ban were alone together. No matter how conceited it is of me to compliment my own works, that part made my heart melt.**

**Whelp, from Tohru herself,**

**Toodlesksksk!!!**


	5. Fluster

And, another goddamn day watching his rival and his love interest cuddle.

They were always together! It's like they don't know what personal space is. But he couldn't say anything—why would he?—because it just wasn't his place to.

Ban and Elaine were going on a date today.

It pained him a little, constantly asking himself, 'Why can't Ban ask me out?' or 'Why does it always have to be her?' But, from his past experiences, it seemed no matter what, if he was going to be pining for someone, he'd always lose them to the Fairy King's little sister.

Anyhow, he needed to figure out what he could do today that would make Ban at least notice his feelings before he and Elaine went out.

"What if I dressed up nice for him?" He suggested to himself, almost forgetting everyone else was in the room.

"Dress up nice for who?" Ban asked from behind Meliodas. With that, he turned cherry red.

"Um...King Bartra! Yes! He wanted me to meet up with him later...to talk about stuff...but I didn't know if he wanted me to dress up or not! That's all." The shorter lied. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't just confess with the Sins standing in earshot.

"Uh, alrighty then. Seriously you're so weird lately..." Ban rolled his eyes and continued to spoon Elaine.

"Captain, can we talk for a little bit? In _private_?" Diane asked, looking to the rest of the Sins.

"Sure thing. Let's go outside." Meliodas fanned his blazing hot face walking toward the door.

The giantess motioned for the Sins—excluding Ban—to follow her outside, and they all closed the door behind them. Hawk was able to slip out of the door before it completely clicked shut.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"We know your secret, Captain."

Meliodas froze, hoping so badly that they didn't mean what he thought they did.

"Y-you know all of my secrets, like I said before! What other secret are you talking about?" Meliodas tried to dodge the statement they made.

"Don't play dumb," Merlin said, "You know what secret we mean."

The short-stack didn't respond.

"We know about how you feel about Ban." King smirked, watching the Captain's face flush in embarrassment.

"So, spill the tea." Diane giggled.

"Okay, you've got me. I _like _like him, but I don't see what that has to do with any of you." Meliodas tried to avoid saying the 'L' word. It was too much, though he knew full well that the word was a complete understatement when it came to Ban. He just really didn't want to have to admit it to anyone he didn't ask.

Diane squealed at this, and Merlin smiled, and it wasn't like her sinister, creepy, and annoyingly smug smile. It looked genuinely happy. Maybe Diane's fangirl prowess had finally begun rub off on her.

"Keep quiet! They're still inside and they can probably hear us!"

"Huh? Why do you care if Elaine hears you?" King cocks his head in confuzzlement.

"No offense, King, but she's super annoying! Whenever I even look at Ban she gets really clingy! It's so annoying!"

"And here I thought _I _was the sin of Envy."

"Watch it, Diane!"

"This is no joke, guys," Hawk squealed, "Have you seen what goes down when he and Elaine are alone?! It's hell! No! Even worse!"

"Yeah, it seems like they get so jealous of each other that they can't be left alone without tearing each other apart." Escanor rolled his eyes.

"Untrue!" Meliodas retorted. Everyone looked at him like he was dumb, "Okay, maybe! But how can I resist? She has such a punchable face!"

"Captain..."

"Oops, sorry, King!"

"It's fine, but I really wish you would have said something sooner. Just how long have you been keeping those feelings bottled up?"

Meliodas brought his gaze to the floor, almost shamefully. His face began to slowly flush.

"Would you be surprised if I told you I loved him since he was Rou?"

They all froze.

"What?!?!" Shouted King.

"You're kidding!!" Squealed Diane.

"Who's Rou?" Escanor asked, looking to the Captain.

"Rou was Ban's previous incarnation." Meliodas simply explained.

It hit the rest of them that their poor Captain has been helplessly head over heels for the bandit for over 1,000 years(call me out if I'm wrong).

"That long?!?!?!" Hawk screeched.

"Keep it down, Porky!!"

"It's Hawk! Hawk!!!"

"You guys have been out here for a hella long time. What in the everliving fuck could you be talking about? And how come I wasn't included?"

A quiet, yet high-pitched, 'Eep!' could be heard from the Captain. He spun on his heel and saw Ban standing in the doorway, looking as handsome as ever.

His heart jumped in his throat.

_I see him every day...!, _Meliodas thought, _Why does this happen every time I look at him?! I have to get a grip!_

"B-Ban! Sorry we kept you waiting for so long! We just had something to discuss!"

Ban was a very smart guy. He could tell nearly anything of anyone with accuracy without even having to ask.

That's how Ban was so quick to pick up on the nervous sputtering, the fidgety hands and the sudden redness of the Captain.

The thing was, Ban was really dense.

He had noticed all of that so easily, before the other Sins could(aside from Gowther, who was smirking to himself), yet he was so dense that he didn't even know why, and had just assumed this flusteredness was because he had been caught red-handed(or red _faced _for that matter)sharing secrets with all of the Sins but him.

"What're you hiding from me, Cap'?" Ban narrowed his eyes at the shorter, trying to intimidate him just a little.

It clearly didn't work because—

"You shouldn't give him that look. The Captain is swooning right now."

Meliodas snapped his head around to look at the sin of Lust. Goddamn you, Gowther! He glared at the doll, giving him that look of, _'Not helping!'_

The doll shrugged.

"What the hell is he talking about?" Ban questioned, and Meliodas waved his hands around in a frenzy, like a cliche anime character**(*cough* Totally didnt just break the 4th wall *cough*)**, once again picking up with his nervous stuttering.

"I-I-it's nothing, r-really!! H-he's just reciting a-a l-line from one of h-h-his favorite romance books, I-is all!!"

"This is so painful to watch." King said, turning around to try and stop cringing at the second-hand embarrassment.

"So painfully cute~!" Corrected Diane, smiling at the two, "It's a shame, though, that this love will never come to be!"

"What?"

"Don't listen to them!! It's nothing!"

Ban looked suspiciously at the Captain before smirking playfully.

"So the Captain's got a little crush, huh? Alright, then, I'll leave you alone about it for now. I have a date today, anyhow." The Sin of Greed winked(which made Meliodas's heart explode)at the Cap'n, who stood there a flustered mess. He completely ignored the mention of the date with Elaine, which was surprising to see.

The door was shut, and Meliodas stood there dumbfounded, and nonetheless completely love struck.

_Ban almost found out...he almost found out...! But..._

"You okay, there, blondie?" Hawk snorted, looking at the completely flushed demon. He was so red he almost looked purple.

"Ban..._winked _at me." He mumbled.

"I think you might be taking it the wrong—"

"HE WINKED AT ME!!! AND IT WAS _HOT!!!"_

The Sins looked at each other before looking back at their fanboying—no—fan_girling _Captain, squealing and squirming around like he was mad.

They weren't sure if it was a demon thing, but there were literal hearts in his eyes, pumping at the speed of light, and they really hoped that wasn't how fast the Captain's _actual _hearts were beating.

"He's just so cool!! So awesome! I'm so glad I got him on my team, I scored a home run!!"

Merlin smiled and shook her head. Diane giggled and fangirled. King threw up because _romance is so gross when it's other people. _Gowther and Escanor just sat there in the back smirking.

And when Meliodas fainted, Hawk carried him back inside the tavern rolling his eyes.

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )

**Yaaay a new chapter!! I thought writing Meliodas as a little flustered bean was absolutely adorable. Like he totally needs to blush more. But, like, tell me if I went overboard, because i feel like I've been putting so much emphasis on the fact that Meliodas really loves Ban in this story that I'm forgetting that this is supposed to be kinda comedic(and extremely angsty but we're not quite there yet).**

**So, yeah, you know the gist.**

**From Tohru herself,**

**See y'all lovelies next chapter!! Bai!!**


	6. Origin

Meliodas betrayed the demon clan.

He betrayed his own blood, abandoned his own brother, and for what?

To be with the woman he so loved?

No.

That's not it.

Elizabeth was always labeled the reason why Meliodas did what he did. But it wasn't for her at all. She did have part in it; she was his best friend—his _only _friend—but she was not the cause.

Meliodas left for a number of reasons: He was tired of being held in a cage all the time, he wanted to see the outside world, he didn't want to be used as an instrument of destruction anymore, he couldn't bare to see anyone else of his clan die ruthlessly to the goddesses, and the list goes on.

However, there is one reason that gets all the spotlight, and that's the fact that Meliodas also left to find love.

If he was going to leave the hell he used to bear he wanted to live that life with somebody—forever—so he was going to have to find someone to love.

And he remembers the day clearly when he saw him. Elizabeth was, of course, the one to find out that he finally found the human he wanted to spend his new life with, and Meliodas knew that when—

"I see _someone's _taken a liking to that _Rou _fellow. I'll go talk to him for ya—"

"E-Elizabeth, no!!"

The blondie knew he was totally crushing on him, but he wouldn't admit it(as counterproductive as that is)even if it saved his life.

"Come on, just go say hi! Stop being so nervous!!" Elizabeth said, pushing Meliodas in Rou's direction. The human was currently talking to a few other men, laughing and joking with them, and the demon couldn't help but be immediately drawn in by that heavenly laughter.

"No! Never! I'll mess up and say something dumb!" Meliodas replied, his feet digging into the ground, almost ruining his white shoes(I'm sorry, but WHAT ARE THOO—).

"Why are you so difficult?? Just a second ago you were the most powerful demon to ever be born into his clan! Where'd that demon go? I should ask _him _to talk to the human instead! At least _he _wouldn't be such a wimp!!" Elizabeth scolded him.

Meliodas flew up to escape her pushing.

"He has a name, and his name is Rou! ROU!!"

"Yeah?"

"Eep!!"

The demon landed back on the ground, and, lo and behold, there stood the man in question.

"I'll leave you to it~!" Elizabeth giggled. She pointed at a tree to let him know she'll be there watching, and a bow sweaty Meliodas gave her a thumbs up. With that, she took off.

"So whatcha need?"

"U-um...uh...h-hi!"

"Uh...yeah, hi," Rou chuckled, "How did I forget to say that? That's basic human communication!"

Meliodas laughed(a little harder than necessary)at that.

"Hey, are you okay? You look like you're gonna throw up."

"H-huh? Oh! Uh, I-I'm fine."

"You sure? You could be sick."

Rou placed a hand on Meliodas's forehead and _oh god he's touching me—_

The demon's face turned red, heating up so much that Rou had to pull his hand away(and all the sweat on his face evaporated).

"You're definitey _not _fine. I'm gonna go find Elizabeth again. I'm pretty sure she went that way..."

"N-NO!!"

Rou turned around as quickly as he could.

"What's wrong?"

_He cares about me!! He cares!!_

"T-that won't be n-necessary! I'm not sick! I can't even _get _sick!!"

Rou stood there for a second before smirking.

"So does that mean you're just _blushing_?"

Oh, god, Ban and Rou were exactly the same.

Meliodas looked down , averting his gaze from the man. If he looked at him any longer he thought he'd die. His hearts were pounding so hard it hurt, and you could most likely hear their out-of-tune rhythm from a mile away.

"I was right, then? The all-powerful former stone-faced demon prince is in _love_?"

The demon gasped and looked up at Elizabeth for help.

With magic she spelled out the words, _Tell him how you feel!_

Meliodas shook his head.

_Ask him out!!_

He looked back at Rou ignoring her advice, and before he could give a straight answer—

"Meliodas? You awake? Ohfuck, ohfuck—"

.

.

.

"Ah, you're alive after all. Finally! It was so boring without you."

Meliodas opened his eyes after about three or four hours.

"What in the hell happened, Elizabeth?"

"You were talking to Rou and passed out."

"Oh..."

_Rou..._

Meliodas's face heated up at the thought of Rou, the human he had literally just met.

"Y'know, I never believed in love at first sight," Elizabeth said, breaking the silence and startling the demon, "Not until I saw you and Rou together like that."

"Yeah," Meliodas murmured, "It might sound super cliché, but I'm sure I've found him. I found the man I want to spend my life with."

"I'm happy to hear that. Now I don't have to help you look for guys and watch you obsess over them on the streets!"

"Hey!"

The two laughed.

"So, Elizabeth," Meliodas smirked, "Do _you _have anyone _you've _taken a liking to?"

The goddess stopped laughing for a second to blush before nervously giggling.

"W-well...you know that little fairy girl, Gerharde...?"

Meliodas beamed at her and squealed.

"Eek, that's so adorable! You two would be so cute together!!"

"S-stop!"

They shared another laugh, one last round to get it out of their system, before they finally stopped to catch their breath.

"Ah, my ribs...!" Meliodas chuckled under his breath.

"Me too!"

After a little bit of silence, save for the hissing and heavy breaths that was the result of the awful pain they felt from laughing so hard, the atmosphere became warmer and more calm.

"Hey, you know what, Elizabeth?"

"Yeah?"

"I got an idea."

"Shoot."

"Since we both found the people we love, why don't we help each other? Like, protect our loves and give each other advice? Kind of like being each other's wingman? Or wingwoman, I don't discriminate."

Elizabeth giggled again.

"That sounds great! I bet I'll get you to confess first!"

"Is that a challenge I hear?"

"If the 3,000 year seal fits."

"Ohoho, you're on!"

The two from that day forward continued to talk to each other's loves, dropping hints every so often that the other likes them, while at the same time talking to their own loves and _maybe _flirting with them.

Things were all smooth sailing, and they both had gathered the courage to confess, thanks to the other.

They didn't know what went wrong.

Right as they were about to approach them, they heard the unthinkable, almost wishing they had gone deaf.

"Congratulations, you two!"

"Don't be too rough with her, Rou!"

"Yeah, and use a condom!"

"Shut up, you guys!"

Apparently, Rou and Gerharde had gotten together and were now dating. It seemed to happen overnight, so subtly. Nobody expected it, and there were no hints at them liking each other that were visible.

Meliodas and Elizabeth were almost completely worn out from that. They were both hurting on he inside, and it was awkward for one to simply be in the presence of the other.

"So...uh... Isn't that something?"

Elizabeth didn't reply.

"I didn't see _that _one coming...eheheh..."

"Yeah," her voice sounded broken, cracking at the end of such a simple word, "Neither did I."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

After that conversation, they seemed to have just completely forgotten about the situation as a whole.

They still continued to helplessly pine, but that's all they could do, really.

The Holy War continued, and before they knew it, it was over.

Meliodas and Elizabeth had both been cursed, the demons had been cast away in their seal, and the perpetual reincarnation of Elizabeth had begun.

Meliodas discovered that Rou had been killed, and Gerharde was nowhere to be found.

The demon grieved for centuries—ions, even—for his lost love. His feelings still lingered before he found out about this travesty, but now knowing that Rou was gone, the feelings had intensified and came back tenfold.

Warping 3,000 years into the future, Meliodas and Merlin has been appointed by King Bartra of Liones as the first of the Seven Deadly Sins, Wrath and Gluttony, with Meliodas as the Captain.

They set off to acquire the rest, and that's when it happened.

Meliodas found Ban.

Just looking into his eyes—no—just seeing his face, Meliodas knew he wasn't crazy.

Rou.

It was Rou.

Rou had been reincarnated as Ban, and hearing that Ban was invincible—unable to die no matter what—the demon was overjoyed.

And, god, he had come back better than ever.

They traveled the world on missions with the Seven Deadly Sins and very quickly became best friends with him.

Ban was just like Rou in every way.

So tall, so cool, so understanding.

Despite Meliodas's past, Ban still agreed to be his friend. They were both outcasts, menaces to society, and they paired great together.

Things were really starting to look up.

Meliodas found Elizabeth again, giving her the nickname, Liz. He met Wandle and Hawk, and all of the Sins together, plus their new friends, had spent all their time together like a family.

But there was a problem.

Meliodas still loved him.

He was still so utterly hung up on Rou, on _Ban, _and only to find out that Ban himself had someone he loved that wasn't him. What's worse it that it's the little sister of the Fairy King.

How many times must he lose to the Fairy King's sister before he could have the one he loves so dearly all to himself?

It's like the universe hated Meliodas, like he was meant to be alone for the rest of his life.

Meliodas realized it was impossible this time to make the same mistake he did with Rou. Ban was invincible, so it's never too late.

Is what he thought.

And that's what leads us to now.

Meliodas and Elaine duking it out over Ban's affection, while the man himself just stands in the middle of it, so utterly dense and taking his lover's side every time.

But if there's one thing the demon knows, it's that he's not gonna lose again this time. He could sense the feelings of affection still lingering with Liz, as well, for Gerharde, and now they all know where she is and that she's still alive.

So, with everything left inside of him, Meliodas knew what his goal in life and love was to do.

Meliodas was going to get both him and Liz their loves back, no matter the cost.

And the story continues...

ᕙʕಠᴥಠʔᕗ ᕙʕಠᴥಠʔᕗ ᕙʕಠᴥಠʔᕗ ᕙʕಠᴥಠʔᕗ ᕙʕಠᴥಠʔᕗ ᕙ

**Okay, in case you guys are confused with what I said about Liz, Wandle and Hawk, I changed some things up to my liking. The current Elizabeth and Liz swapped places, and because of this, I let Wandle live. This is sure to cause some controversy with the one or two people who read this story, but I'm not a big fan of current Elizabeth, but I absolutely adore Liz. I love Wandle, and Hawk is just the best. So, I decided I'd switch Liz and Elizabeth around(which, in turn changes some events where Elizabeth would normally be being useless to Liz being a badass) and let Wandle live as Hawk's friend, rather than his first incarnation.**

**There'll be other changes, too, like how Vivian is going to be Gilthunder's creepy lesbian friend rather than her being his obsessed masochist stalker. Gowther might be the drag queen before drag queens; I'm considering it. Diane has the power to shrink herself whenever she wants as a result of Merlin giving her a potion, Estarossa is actually Meliodas's brother, and he, Zeldris, Cusack and Chandler may or may not all be character in the series. That'll be explained later.**

**I might also add Tarmiel and Nerobasta because I love them.**

**The Ten Commandments might _also _be in it as side characters, as in they made peace with the commandment and now they're on their side.**

**Liz won't be an adoptive daughter of King Bartra, by the way. She was a foster kid and now she lives by herself in Danafor, which I also changed to not have been destroyed, and sometimes the Boar Hat.**

**Also, comment on this one, I might add Gelda as Zeldris's best friend. Like, they're both gay. Well, I might make Zeldris pansexual or transgender, but like I said, I'm not sure so you'll have to comment if you want that. Also, because of that, Zeldris might not have a physique.**

**One final thing for changes I made. Cusack adopted Zeldris, so...yay!**

**Just comment on whatever you think you want to have done and I'll try to make some revisions to accommodate your best interests.**

**And with that, you know what I'm about to say, from Tohru herself,**

**Toodles!!!**


	7. Date(1)

"LIIIIIIIIIIZ!"

"WHAT?!"

"HELP MEEEEEE!"

Ah, yes. The beautiful sound of friendship.

"What's the problem? You came all the way here to Danafor screaming for what reason?!" Liz screeched back, earning a, _"Noisy human! Noisy human!"_ from Wandle inside the house.

"I already told you! I need you to help me!" Meliodas whined like a child.

Liz flicked the ahoge standing tall atop his head and retorted with, "Yeah, how could I _not _have heard you? Be specific, _baka_."

"Rude..." the shortie grumbled, "Ban is going on a date with Elaine today..."

"Yeah, so?"

"Help me sabotage it, or something!"

"What? Why?! You're getting all up in their business by doing that, and there's no way in hell you're dragging me into it!" the short haired girl complained, "Why does it even matter that they're going out anyway? Aren't they a couple? And I'm pretty sure couples go on dates. That's why it's called _dating_."

"Oh, yeah...I didn't ever get a chance to tell you, now, did I? The Commandments took up so much time I never got around to."

"What're you going on about? I already know what you're feeling."

The demon became red in the face, his breath hitching. Liz wasn't really one to go easy on people with the teasing, and her knowing about _those_ feelings, it's gonna be absolute hell for him.

"Uh-huh! I know all of it. You're wanting to ruin their date because you're worried fairy princess is gonna steal your best friend away from you, huh?" Liz smirked oh-so pridefully. All that pride would diminish, though, when Meliodas told her how wrong she was with that statement.

"Ah, man, you were so close...NOT!"

"Huh?"

"Come on, I'll tell you inside, I don't want anyone to hear me, it's too embarrassing. But we have to make it fast so we ca come up with something before they leave."

Meliodas shoved Liz inside of the cottage, greeting Wandle briefly on the way in.

"If you hear anything, that's fine but if I hear you repeat _any _of what is said I'll have B-Ban cook you and serve you to people at the Boar Hat, got it, bird?"

Wandle visibly shuddered and fled quickly to his cage, saying, _"My beak is sealed, sealed, y'hear?"_

"Stop pushing!"

Liz tried to feed Meliodas an elbow to the face, but missed just by a hair.

"What's your problem? Tell me what's going on!"

"Okay, so, uh, this is awkward. You already know about the whole perpetual reincarnation thing, right?"

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with whatever it is you're babbling about?"

"So, uh, the very first you was my best friend. And don't twist my words, you still are my best friend. But, there's one detail that often goes overlooked."

"I already know all this shit. What detail?"

"I'll just get it over with...I'm kinda sorta maybe totally head over heels in love with Ban..."

Liz stopped breathing for a second.

"No way."

"Yes way."

"No _fucking_ way."

"Every way."

"You're shitting me, aren't you?"

"If I said I was, the beating of my hearts at the simple mention of his name says otherwise."

Liz squealed and kicked and fangirled for almost 10 minutes straight. She was so loud that the neighbors had to knock on the door and check if she was alright. Hell, even Wandle was squawking in happiness.

"Shhh! Keep it down!"

"Aaah, I'm sorry! I just-" Liz cleared her throat, "-I just had a moment there. What were you saying?"

"Um, yeah, well I love Ban, and I have loved him since his first incarnation. I lost him to Gerharde, the Fairy King's adviser, and, at the time, little sister, and then to death. And I didn't even get to tell him how I felt."

Meliodas bit back a smirk watching Liz's face slightly turn pink at the mention of Gerharde. It seems she remembers.

"So, yeah, he was reincarnated as Ban, and now he's invincible. I thought that maybe this time I had a chance with him, because he had told me that the woman he loved, Elaine, was deceased, as twisted as it sounds aloud. I was wrong, though, because Melascula ended up bringing her back to life, and now they're all lovey-dovey together all the time. But I'm not gonna take it this time, because last time I took it like a little bitch. There's no way to miss my chance now because he can't die now. So, I really need you to help me out, okay? I wanna get Ban to notice my feelings before life decides there _is_ a way possible for me to be 'too late'."

"Ya done?"

"Yeah..."

"You can count me in, but on one condition."

"Anything."

"Could you maybe hook me up with that Gerharde girl?"

Meliodas smiled at Liz.

"I gotchu, girl."

.

.

.

"Alright, they're going out now. My brother works at a little shop somewhere downtown as a waitress. He talked to the boss, and he told me that we can borrow some spare uniforms and wait them."

"Alri-wait, did you just say your _brother _is a _waitress_?"

"Yeah, he's pan. Everyone who doesn't know him think's he's a girl, one of which is his boss. I'll spare the details for later. Just go put this on."

Meliodas handed her a uniform and began to walk upstairs to change in his room.

Before he could, Liz asked, "Why do you know where they're going?"

"If it's about Ban, I know everything. Now go!"

The two changed and followed Ban and Elaine to the establishment. It was quite fancy, actually, compared to the outside and how small it looked.

Lo and behold, Zeldris was at the door waiting for them. He let couple in with a smile, and once they were all the way inside, he replaced his body with a nearby plant to hold the door opened and rushed out to the back where he agreed to let Meliodas and Liz inside.

"Psst, hey," Zel whisper-shouted, "Over here! I have the key to the door and some disguises."

The friends made their way out of the bushes like it was a jungle, thorns scratching their foreskin but not sharp enough to draw blood or shred their clothes.

"Thanks, Zeldris. I owe you one."

"You owe me a lot, but that debt isn't to be discussed right now."

Meliodas tried to quickly change the subject as he hid his blond hair underneath the brown wig, "Uh, lookin' good in your uniform, Zeldy! I never did get to really see you in your workplace outfit. It really suits you."

Zeldris was wearing a pastel pink dress shirt with a dark maroon bow tie, a mauve unbuttoned woman's blazer, a short white skirt with slits cut off the sides, black stockings and white flats. To top it off, he had gloves like Mickey Mouse and a little top hat tilting off of the top of his head connecting to a headband.

The younger demon rolled his eyes.

"I would make the skirt a little longer, though. It's showing off too much..."

"Just get in there!"

Zeldris threw the key at Meliodas, who caught it right before it hit him square between the eyes.

"Okay, okay, we're going!"

Meliodas unlocked the door and went inside followed by Liz, who had a long, silver wig on, and Zeldris, who was tugging on the back of his skirt and grumbling under his breath.

They cast about for the couple in question while trying not to look like they were stalking someone(which they kinda were)or preparing to rob the place, before their eyes finally caught onto what they were looking for.

Ban and Elaine were sitting at a booth in the corner of the room, holding a conversation and acting seemingly unbothered by the neglect they were receiving from the staff.

"You know what to do, right?" asked Zeldris.

Meliodas and Liz looked at each other, then back at the waiter, and the female shrugged.

"Ugh...I'm gonna be waiting tables as close as possible, so just follow my lead, okay?"

"Alright," Meliodas grinned, "I'm going to approach them!"

**( owo)(owo )( owo)(owo )**

**And, cliffhanger!**

**Though, I wouldn't really call it a cliffhanger since I'm probably gonna publish the next chapter the second I finish it, and I'm gonna start writing once this is done. Anyway, yes, Zeldris is pansexual. I came to an agreement and that was the result. Just to maybe make up for the suspense, I'll just tell you right now, Gelda may or may not be featured in the next chapter.  
Well, from Tohru herself,**

**Bai, bitches!(She didn't mean that, she literally _is_ a bitch)**


	8. Date(Finale)

"I'm going to approach them!"

The two looked at Meliodas like he was crazy.

"What are you—" Liz tried to speak up, but was quickly cut off by Meliodas giving her a thumbs up and saying, "I got this!" and walking away.

"He's not gonna make it, is he?" Liz asked raising a brow.

"Of course he's not."

Walking over to the couple, Meliodas wanted to ignore the comments his best friend and his brother had made, but he knew not-so-deep down that they were right. He was slowly losing his confidence as he realised as he neared them that _holy fuck, Ban is looking fiiiine-_

He stopped in front of their table and said, "Hai, hai! How are you two doing tonight? My name is Mel..."

He almost gave away his cover. Nobody in this realm had a name as unique and as known as Meliodas.

"Your name is...?" Ban questioned.

"Uh, it's Sadoilem, and I'll be your waiter on this fine day."

"Did he just introduce himself by saying his name backwards?" Liz facepalmed.

"That's big brother, for ya."

Meliodas took a second to really look at Ban, and, Jesus Christ, he was absolutely blown away.

Ban was dressed up rather nicely, and his hair was changed so it didn't look too different, but it was classier than normal. The more he stared at him, the faster his hearts pounded in his chest. It's like they were having a gymnastics tournament right between his ribs, and the winner is the one that gives Meliodas a heart attack or panic attack first. The two spectators noticed Meliodas's silent crisis through the light shaking of his body and the reddening of his ears.

The Captain knew, just by looking at him, that he was once again encountering the euphoric experience that was falling in love with the same man for the third time.

Time got back on its feet and he could feel the moving of it again, so he decided that he'd try to continue on with his scheme.

He looked back at his little brother who was now working with another customer, and he heard him say loud enough for him to hear it, like he was poorly giving away answers to a test, "I'm Zeldris, and I'll be your waitress. **If you need anything, ring this bell here.** Now, **have you decided on what you'll be ordering this afternoon**?"

Meliodas followed perfectly in suit, though changing up a few words so it wasn't obvious he was just copying the gut behind him. He tried to keep his voice from cracking or wavering, and he begun to speak.

"If there's a problem, you have a bell on your table right there. Just give me a ring! So, are you ready to order?"

Ban chuckled for a second.

"I'd ask for a tall glass of water, but I've already got one right across from me."

Elaine blushed and responded with, "Oh, stop!"

_Yes, please do._

The demon tried to keep a smile on his face, fighting back a nasty glare. It looked almost like he was grimacing at the couple.

"I'll just have citrus water, thanks." Elaine said.

_Alright, that I can do..._

"I guess I'll have the same."

"Coming right up!"

Meliodas walked off toward Liz and told her, "Tell them to give you two citrus waters, but only put the citrus in one of the waters. Leave the other one on the side. I have an idea."

"Okay?" Liz replied suspiciously, "You're not gonna do anything to the drink, are you?"

"What? No!" Meliodas denied, "The drink will be fine."

Liz rolled her eyes and made her way to the kitchen and did as she was told.

"How's everything holding up?" Zeldris's voice piped up from behind the blond, making him jump just a little.

"Fine, so far."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"You're crashing this date, right?"

"Yeah?"

"So everything should not be fine."

"Calm your non-masculine tits! The show's about to start. I just need the props."

Zeldris went back to work, and Liz came back with the drinks.

"Watch this."

The two focused their attention back to Meliodas who was now back at the table.

"I'm back with your drinks! One for you-" Meliodas placed a perfectly made citrus water in front of Ban, "-and one for you." he then placed down a regular cup of water that he may or may not have spit in secretly before they got to the table in front of Elaine.

"Thank you." the little elf giggled, making Meliodas's face contort slightly with disgust. He walked away before hearing the ringing of a bell.

_Here's where the fun begins._

"Yes, hon'?"

"Oh, uh, you didn't put any citrus in my water." Elaine smiled nervously.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Silly me! Oop, and here it is right on the plate. Well gosh diggity darn it. Here, I'll add it in."

Sadoilem walked back over to the table and brought up the citrus, before squeezing it and-

"AAH! That burns!"

When he looked back at Elaine, she was covering her eyes and hissing.

"Please don't tell me that's your brother..." Zeldris heard a catlike feminine voice question from behind him.

"Oh, hi Gelda. You're here today to watch this shitshow unfold?"

"Yeah, I was running low on cash and I couldn't pretend to be sick anymore so I decided I'd come to work today."

"You chose the wrong day to do that."

"Apparently."

...

"You wanna help out?"

"Why not?"

Meliodas pretended to be worried for her and upset at his _mistake_. Ban was cussing at him and trying to console Elaine at the same time.

"I'm so sorry! Oh my goodness, are you okay?!"

"Hey!" Liz shouted, "What's going on over here?"

"This dickwad sprayed fucking lemon juice in my lover's eye! You should be more fuckin' careful with who you let wander around the workplace!"

"Is that so? Here, let me help!" Liz smirked. grabbing the water that was left in Elaine's cup and splashing it on her face.

"This entire place is filled with shitbags!"

People were murmuring and whispering amongst themselves watching this unfold. Some people were even leaving the area, trying to stifle laughter or hunched over and afraid of Ban's obsessive yelling and colourful language.

"Now, now, sir, calm down. This is all just a big misconception. He's new here, give him a break." Liz tried not to bust out cackling.

"You wanna misconceive these hands?!"

"Ban, please!"

"I'm sorry."

Gelda giggled.

"This is so sad to watch." She muttered under her breath.

Zeldris turned around and saw the manager coming out of a little room in the back looking pissed. His face quickly turned from amused to _oh shit_.

The raven haired demon quickly rushed to the scene and tried to defuse the situation, or at least make it look like that's what he was doing.

"H-hey, hey, there's no need for all this yelling and violence. I'm sure what happened will never happen again." He tried to reassure Ban.

"Oh yeah? Well that's not what you said when you were taking over Britannia not even two years ago!!" Ban sneered back. Zeldris took a step backward and the whole room silenced.

"Yeah, did you really think no one would recognize you?! You thought that maybe if you dressed up like a girl then maybe you'd get out of that with your hands clean?!"

"I...uh...s-sir, plea—"

"Don't act like you don't know my name! Get out of here! Go somewhere else!"

Zeldris snapped his mouth shut and ran off in the opposite direction with Gelda following close behind.

Meliodas looked like he was about to lose it, but if he did, their cover would be blown.

"Serves him right..." Elaine whispered to herself, wiping any remaining tears from her eyes.

"Because you just fucking would." Meliodas gave her an almost twisted glare. She shut up fast.

The manager had appeared at the table and shouted, "WHAT IN THE LORD'S GAY ASSHOLE IS GOING ON HERE?!?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH MONEY I COULD BE LOSING?!?!?! THE BOSS WILL HAVE MY HEAD!!!!"

He was furious, his face turning red and sweat running down his face. His face was so contorted and scrunched up together that if he got any angrier it would probably just swallow itself and become inside-out.

Liz was laughing now.

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!?! THAT WAS CERTAINLY _NOT _FUNNY!! AND YOU, SIR, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU COULD HAVE CAUSED?!?! THAT WAS OUR BEST WAITRESS!!! SHE'S THE ONLY REASON WHY PEOPLE EVEN COME HERE!! AND WITH THIS SHITSHOW I'D BETTER BE SEEING YOU TWO GETTING OUT YOUR WALLETS TO PAY FOR THIS!!!"

Liz and Mel looked at each other for a second, then Liz had attacked him, so now she was in a fistfight with the manager.

"Well, then." Elaine spike up in a monotone voice, "I guess that concludes our date."

"Definitely."

"Why do bad things always happen to me?"

Meliodas almost did a 360 with his head just to look at her. He leaned in and whispered to her somewhat menacingly: "Because that's what happens when you fuck. With my. Man."

He pulled down some of his blond hair from the wig, and immediately, Elaine knew who he really was.

The former guardian snatched Meliodas's**(I'm so sorry)**weave and threw it on the floor, and the ahoge on atop his head sprung up, making a sound close to what happens when you flick a door stopper.

"Cap'n?! It was you who caused this shitshow?!?!"

Meliodas turned around smiling, his cheeks turning a little pink, "Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't."

"I should've known!! Why do you always have to ruin everything?! I never get to have Ban for myself!!" Elaine whined, and that's what made Meliodas snap.

He turned his head slowly, and the look on his face was haunting.

"_You _don't get Ban for yourself?"

Elaine was nothing short of terrified.

"BITCH IF YOU DON'T—!!!!"

Meliodas pounced on top of her, immediately throwing punches.

All of this was happening at the same time.

Liz and the manager were still duking it out in the background, Meliodas and Elaine were throwing hands, and Gelda was in the back trying to comfort Zeldris as he was crying his eyes out mumbling, "I fucking hate this job," over and over.

And honestly, the narrator for this story was just fucking done with all of this bullshit. Tohru tried to keep the narrator going to at least finish this shitshow of a chapter before quitting, but at that point, things were getting too heated, and they quit anyway.

.

.

.

In the amount of time it took for Tohru to find a new narrator, the group was already back at the Boar Hat, sitting in silence.

"That did not need to happen." Ban told Meliodas in a dead(as ironic as that is)and monotone voice, "You have no business interfering with my love life."

"I'm sorry."

"That was completely uncalled for, and you ruined everyone's day doing that. I hope to you're aware."

"I know."

"Now, I will give you five minutes to explain yourself. If you can't do so, you have no business even talking to me."

Meliodas shot a quick look at Liz, who was stiffly staring ahead, looking nervous. She was covering her black eye with a cold rag.

"U-uh...I can't really tell you why exactly I did it yet, but I will tell you that I did that with no negative intentions at all. Well...maybe _some_, but none were directed towards you."

Ban stood up, grabbed Elaine's hand, and walked upstairs.

"Well, you did it, and it's done. See why I told you we shouldn't do it?" Liz tried to lighten the mood with a little teasing, but to no avail. Meliodas looked sick. Sick with himself, sick with Liz, sick with his actions, and just sick with everything.

"Look, I'm sorry, hon'. You'll make up with him eventually. But, uh, hey. You're still keeping your part of the deal, right?"

Meliodas looked at her for a quick second and then turned away from her.

"Yeah, I'll talk to King and Gloxinia later," he murmured, "I just need some time alone right now."

Liz nodded in understandment. The two said their goodbyes and parted ways.

**ฅ( ̳͒•ಲ• ̳͒) ฅ( ̳͒•ಲ• ̳͒) ฅ( ̳͒•ಲ• ̳͒) ฅ( ̳͒•ಲ• ̳͒) ฅ( ̳͒•ಲ• ̳͒) ฅ( ̳͒•ಲ• ̳͒) ฅ( ̳͒**

**So that was some jackshit. I'm sorry if it became a bit much to read, because holy shit my head hurts after writing that. The next chapter might be something I've wanted to write into the story for a while, so stay tuned for that. Also, I'm not sure if I should add Zelithur/Zelthur or just keep Zel single, so whatever y'all want is whatever I'll write in.**

**Also, is anyone else getting the cliché vibe that I'm getting from this story? Like it just seems this story has taken a downward spiral from what i was initially trying to do, though, this book is kinda just my MelBan Seven Deadly Sins utopia, so it doesn't matter as long as we all enjoy it.**

**And y'all already know what I'm about to say.**

**Say it with me, now!**

**From Tohru herself,**

I'll be back...

**Bai!**


	9. Confession

Ever since the incident, Meliodas and Ban had been unusually distant.

Every time Meliodas went to talk to Ban-even during missions-Ban would ask something like, "Finally ready to explain?", only to receive the inevitable answer of 'no', and take his leave.

And it was tearing the poor blond to shreds.

Elaine was always basking in the newfound affection Ban was giving her, spoiling herself with it and bragging to Meliodas whenever the man in question was distracted. Meliodas soon began complaining to King about it, telling him to 'Get your sister!', and the Sins were very much aware of the pain.

But soon enough, December came along, and the New Year was being celebrated with a festival thrown by King Bartra.

That's when the demon knew it was his chance. But was he going to take that chance?

"OF COURSE NOT! THAT WOULD MAKE HIM HATE ME EVEN MORE!"

"Come on, Captain, this is the only shot you'll have for a while. He'll continue ignoring you if you don't just tell him, y'know." Diane tried to reassure him. Though, with the circumstance, there was absolutely no way he was going to follow through.

"No, no, no, no, nope. Not doing it. You can't make me do it, and I won't do it." Meliodas confidently told her, putting his foot down(both figuratively and literally).

"Please? You missed your chance last time and I'm not letting you miss it again! It'll be too sad!"

"Why do you know that?"

Diane silenced and tried to cover up. She had forgotten that he(somehow)didn't know about the trial they received from Gloxinia and Drole, and she and King saw the whole thing unfold in almost real time.

"Because you're not dating him."

"Touche."

King floated down the stairs(or pretended to in hopes that they wouldn't notice that he was just kinda there waiting for a good opportunity to step in)and decided he'd speak on the behalf of...well, both of them if you think about it.

"I think Diane's right, Cap'," he advised, "Tell Ban you love him, and when he rejects you, just know that you're just way too good for him and move on."

Huh. That sounds a lot like what Jenna said. Have they been talking?

"_When _he rejects me?! You could have at least had the courtesy to give me a little false hope and said 'if' just to make me feel better about it!"

"Eh, I'm too lazy for courtesy. Unless it's Diane." King shrugged.

"Thank you, King." Diane smiled.

"No problem," King grinned back, "But even so, Captain, Ban's already with my sister and doesn't seem to have any intention of changing that. At least not again. So I couldn't say 'if', because if I did, when the time comes tonight, you'll be even more heartbroken than you would have been."

"I guess that's true...Do you think Vivian will be at the festival tonight? She of all people knows how it feels to be in constant fear of getting rejected because of another person." Meliodas groaned, rubbing his hands down his face.

"Vivian? Didn't she give up with Gilthunder because she realised she was gay?" Diane asked, looking puzzled.

"Yeah, but I still think she would give some good advice."

"I'm not too sure if she'll be available today, though, because she'll be on a date with Merlin all day. And you know why she got to go out with her? Because she was able to...uh...woman up and tell Merlin her feelings! So you should be able to do it, too!" Diane pep-talked Meliodas. He didn't seem to really be buying it that much, but she could tell there was at least a little surge of confidence sparking up within him.

"Maybe...If it's the only way he'll talk to me again, I guess I'll have to give it a shot. Thanks for that, Diane."

"DO IT! JUST DO I-"

"Don't push it."

"Sorry."

.

.

.

Okay.

Okay.

Alright.

Fuck.

He's right there.

All Meliodas had to do then was go up to him, and right when he asked for an explanation, ask him out and that'll be it. Though, in the most subtle way possible.

Meliodas was finally going to do it.

He kept his feelings in for too long—the first 50 years should have been a sign—and now he was finally ready to confess. It was the perfect opportunity to do so, as well.

His knees were shaky, his hands were sweaty and jittery, but he was ready...so to speak.

At last, approaching Ban, the taller was quick to turn and glare at Meliodas, almost freezing him to the bone. If looks could kill(which in this wacky world they totally had the potential to)Meliodas would be slowly dying of hypothermia, the expression was so icy cold.

"So?"

"U-um...w-well...I'm ready!—B-but not now! I...um...I wanna tell you at the K-King's festival tonight...alone. It's really important, so please make sure you'll be there."

"If Elaine's asleep, maybe."

"O-ok!"

Meliodas, red-faced and flat-footed, turned on his heel and made a mad dash for the front door. He quickly swung it opened, and as soon as the breeze blew into the tavern, the door was slammed shut and he was gone.

A quiet squeal could be heard from the other side of the door, gradually dropping decibels as he was seemingly making an escape of some sort.

"That guy is so damn weird sometimes."

Though, that was quite the statement to have made about _this _odd team—especially being _part _of it.

.

.

.

Meliodas kicked Liz's door opened, already being so _fucking _loud and he just got here less than a millisecond ago.

"LIIIIIIIIZZZZZ!!!!!!"

"WHAT NOW?!?!"

"IIIII DIIIIID IIIIIIITTTT!!!!!"

That declaration seemed to get Liz's attention, as she sprinted down the stairs(tumbling down the last three)and quickly stumbled to his side.

"YOU DID?! YOU TOLD HIM YOUR FEEEELINGS?!?!"

"N-no! Not yet!! But I kinda asked him out, and I'm gonna tell him tonight!!"

Liz gasped dramatically and then completely broke out in a squealing frenzy. On her back, kicking her legs and flailing her arms around. It was almost funny, or, it would have been had she not done this hundreds of time before.

"Noooo, stop!! This is awful!"

"What?! How?!?!"

"I just realized on the way here that I'm nowhere near ready for this!!!"

Liz clasped Meliodas's cheeks in her hands, squishing his cubby face together.

"Meliodas. Hon. Honey. Baby. My only child. My fucking adorable son that I would totally adopt."

That last one caught the demon off guard.

"Boi. You have waited THREE THOUSAND YEARS for this. That is the ultimate preparation time that nobody LITERALLY EVER has ever had. You have been loving on this guy for _that _long, so there's no way in hell you're not ready to tell him that. So be a big boy(so to speak), grow some balls, and tell Ban how you feel."

Meliodas stared at Liz for a second, his eyes sparking with inspiration. That face quickly turned to one of determination(Frisk sneezes in the background), and he pumped his fists in the air.

"Y-you're right!! I've had more time to prepare for this than anyone else! Even Elaine! I should be able to do this!! And you'd bet your ass I can!!!"

"Yeah, that's the spirit! Keep it up! Now go get ready for your mans!"

Liz was pretty quick to start showing him away as if she was keeping something from him.

Though, it was too late to hide anything.

"Hey, what's all the noise?"

A gentle and kind of monotone voice called out to the two.

Immediately, Meliodas identified that voice as none other than—

"G-Gerharde! What are you doing out of bed?!"

"Ah?"

Meliodas then _actually _looked at the two, and he knew quickly that their relationship was seeming to work out and blossom just fine.

Liz had only a bra and short-shorts on. Both of them had disheveled hair and looked tired, and Meliodas could have sworn he saw a bruise—a _hickey—_or two on Gerharde(who was only in a towel, might I add).

Meliodas smirked and made his perv face. You all know what face I'm talking about.

"U-uh...it's not what it looks like at all!!! G-get out!!!!"

Liz threw a chair at Meliodas, but just missed as he slipped out the door with a smile.

He was even more fired up now(Natsu _also _sneezes in the background), knowing that they were most likely together. If they could do this, goddammit, so could he.

.

.

.

That night, Meliodas waited in the backyard(as of then)of the tavern for Ban.

His hearts were pounding so utterly hard that you could see his body shake with each thump. Well, if you don't count the shaking he was doing without the exessive beating of his hearts.

He was about to do it.

About to finally get those feelings out to the person he so loved.

Ban was oblivious for 3,000 years. He stayed uninformed for so long, so _dense_, but that time was close to being over.

He took a deep breath and reassured himself; "I'll be fine. Worst case scenario, I'll just forgive and forget."

"What was that?"

The man of the hour finally showed up, giving Meliodas a start.

"You got lucky. Elaine is asleep, so you can explain yourself. You've got all night."

There was a hint of pink on Ban's face, and his way of speech was slurred. Meliodas could tell he had been drinking again and hoped he was sober enough to know what's even about to be said.

"Take a seat. There's plenty of room."

Ban stumbled over to the shorter and obliged a bit too easily to his 'command'. It was more like a, 'Please, fuckin' sit next to me, Senpai, I want to be near you _forever_,' but we don't talk about that.

"Go on. I'm—" Ban belched, "—listening."

This was it. Meliodas waited this long, 3,000 years, and now he's finally ready. Ban was there, listening, the atmosphere was perfect, and Meliodas was _fucking _dying.

The time of great anticipation, hiding his feelings, and dropping hints was finally going to be over.

"Okay...so, Ban, I've known you longer than you've known yourself. I met you in your past life, when you were Rou. You were, and are, in both of your lives, the best friend I ever have and will have."

Ban's eyelids drooped.

"You know why I'm here, in this realm, right? To find love. I wanted to find someone to share what I believed was utopia compared to what I lived through before as the eldest demon prince. I came here, and immediately, I knew who I was going to spend that life with, and my mind hasn't changed ever since then."

"Ah, Uh, well, what I'm trying to say is...I...I...I love you!"

There was silence, and Meliodas felt a twisting in his stomach as seconds turned to hours waiting for a response.

"I-I love you! Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou!! I've been waiting for too long, and these feelings have grown stronger than even Escanor when he's photosynthesizing!! You're the man I've wanted to spend my new life with, and my new life has turned to old news in the time it took for me to finally be able to say these words!!!"

Still silence.

"S-so there! You got your explanation! Now please, hurry up and say something! Say something so I can go on with my life...!"

And that's when he heard it.

Such a simple sound that was just enough to ruin Meliodas's life, maybe forever.

The sound of snoring.

"BAN!!!"

Meliodas shouted, which was certainly enough to wake up the other. The Captain knew Ban was sure to have one hell of a hangover, but that's just what the hell he deserved.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I fell asleep."

"How much did you hear?!"

"I think I clocked out on the word 'prince'."

That meant he fell asleep, like, the sentence _before _the confession.

"Well, as long as you actually did explain,_ I'd say you're off the hook. Man, being petty is harder than I thought!"_

Now it was Meliodas's turn to go quiet.

He took a moment to reflect on tonight's events.

He takes 3,000 years out of his life to love this man, and when the time finally comes that he's able to confess, the little shit falls asleep.

"Hey, you good, man?" Ban asked, so fucking obliviously.

And, echoing out to the entire kingdom, was the loudest 'SLAP!,' sound anyone's ever heard to date.

ლಠ益ಠ)ლ ლಠ益ಠ)ლ ლಠ益ಠ)ლ ლಠ益ಠ)ლ ლಠ益ಠ)ლ ლಠ

**Yeah, yup, at this point I'm just messing with all of our feelings. There's not much to say here for this EOC note. But y'all that are sticking around to read this are hella dedicated. This chapter was kinda cringe, ngl. It's just the idea that kinda gave me the idea for the book. So, I'm just gonna leave. You know what I'm about to say.**

**From Tohru herself,**

**Fuck. Cya!!!**


	10. Consolation

Ban hissed at the stinging sensation still left on his cheek from the other night. A single comical teardrop dared to escapse from his ducts that haven't been active since Meliodas's 'death' as he rubbed the red hand print left there, symbolizing the demon's wrath.

"Man, I don't even know what his problem is! I swear, he's out of his mind!"

"Yeah, _in love _out of his mind..." Merlin grumbled.

"Hah?!"

"Oh, nothing..."

"He still hasn't come out of his room, huh?" Diane asked King, whom was sitting next to her at the bar.

"Nope. He's been like this all night. I thought he of all people would know that Ban has a brain a size smaller than his dic—"

"King! Language."

"Sorry. I'm just saying that Ban's an idiot, so I was kind of expecting it."

"Way harsh, man."

"Can someone please go check on him?" King said, "I'm actually starting to get worried."

Diane stood abruptly from her chair, making a loud screeching sound against the wood floor.

"I volunteer as tribute!"

"Diane, that reference doesn't exist yet."

"Oh yeah."

With that, Diane ascended upstairs to their Captain's bedroom door. She gave three polite knocks on the door and asked, "Captain? Is everything alright?"

There was a strangled groan from the other side of the door and something hit the door. Diane jumped.

"I'm coming in."

She opened the door, and the very second she did, a boot came flying past her head. She looked down and saw the other boot on the ground near the door, and back up to see Meliodas barefoot.

_So that's what that was..._

The Captain was lying face-down on his bed, and Diane wondered how long he laid like that without suffocating.

"Are you alright?"

"Why...?"

"Huh?"

"Why did it have to be him?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Out of all of the people in the whole world I could have fallen so hard for..._why _did it have to be _him_?!"

Diane jumped again, taken aback by his sudden outburst. He slammed his fists on the mattress before slowly sitting up. The giantess's face softened, her heart just breaking, absolutely breaking, seeing his tear-stained face and almost pleading eyes.

"It's okay, Captain. What happened couldn't have been that awful..." Diane attempted so endearingly to comfort Meliodas, to get him to wipe his eyes and smile, to forget that terrible man...whatever it was he did that made him so terrible.

"Diane, do you even _know _what happened?" Meliodas asked. He sounded like he had a frog in his throat**(lowkey my first time ever using that metaphor)**.

"Do you mind?"

The demon sighed. He slammed the pillow onto his face and just kept it there.

"I finally did it. I _finally _told him. And the second before I could even get those words out he _fucking _falls _asleep_, Diane."

"HE WHAAAAAAT?!"

The sound of her screech echoed throughout the entirety of Britannia. Even from miles and miles away, you could see maybe water in a glass begin to vibrate.

"The problem I'm having now is...I...I still feel the same. No, these feelings have grown far stronger than I've ever known them to be."

Diane, although still looking quite angry, smiled at Meliodas.

"You love him that much, huh?"

The Captain moved the pillow enough so you could see his eyes. His face was a firey red, and he nodded.

"Wow...I can't believe Ban would be so inconsiderate," The giantess stopped for an instant, "Well, actually, yes I can. But then again, Captain, you have to remember that he isn't single. He loves Elaine and Elaine loves him back, and he had no idea you were even going to confess."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?" The tone of Meliodas's voice was enough to send shivers down Diane's spine. Goosebumps dared to form on her arms.

"What I'm saying is that I understand that you're upset, but...don't you think it's kind of wrong that you're basically trying to break up the man you love and the woman _he _loves?"

Meliodas was quiet.

"That would just make him sad. You wouldn't want him to be sad, would you?"

There was a gasp from the other end.

"Of course not!"

"So maybe you should let it go. Okay?"

"Okay..." the demon shamefully looked down at his knees, "Wait a second, weren't you the one urging me to tell him this entire time?"

"Yeah, but that was to only get your feelings out. I already knew you two could never really...it feels good now, doesn't it?"

Meliodas, knowing good and well what Diane was going to say, wanted to cry some more. This man was occupying half of his brain, hijacking his thoughts and making him go nuts. Ban was what made his hearts race, his stomach turn, his head hurt, and he loved every second of it, just like he loved every second with _him_. Now finally coming to his senses and letting go of this overwhelming false hope, it felt like an arraw of arrows piercing through his hearts. From the very beginning-since Rou, his everything, died-he should have known that it was over, and that he should have started his search for a new 'love-of-his-life' long, long ago.

Although, he had to admit, this new sense of closure was satisfying. His feelings for Ban have been raging inside of him, making his nerves go insane. It was nice to know that now that feeling of anxiety in the back of his throat didn't burn so much, or that the pounding of his hearts was far more gentle.

So, he gives his answer.

"Yeah...it does."

And a comfortable silenced enveloped the two friends.

"Hey, I have an idea, Captain."

"I'm all ears."

"Since you and Ban are almost impossible-no offense-why don't King, Gowther and I help you find someone new?"

The head of Meliodas turned at the speed of light to meet the giantess's gaze. He knew that falling out of love was an option, and also that it wasn't going to be easy, but finding someone new? That nearly sounded like an insult! He was so infatuated with Ban, in so deep, that it felt undoable to have those same feelings for anybody _but _him. He's loved him for such a long time, hell, he didn't even know _how _to love anyone but him.

"Diane, no..."

"Oh, but Diane yes! Your number one goal coming to Earth was to find somebody to love, right? Well you've finally found your man, but he's taken! What else is there to do? It's been 3,000 years, and the one you love still doesn't even know that you love him! Though I totally understand that you literally _just _tried to tell him and he was selfish enough to fall asleep as you were in the process. But still!"

Meliodas wanted to be dumbfounded, but at this point, his life was too much of an uphill-climb(that totally ended up spiraling down and crash-landing)for him to even be _able _to feel that way about _anything_.

"Do you practice these inspirational speeches in your spare time or something? Because you really just persuaded me without any effort at all, it seems."

"Could you tell?"

"I don't have to...Alright, what's the first step to this _genius _plan of yours?"

Diane beamed.

"That's the spirit! Now, the first step to falling in love with someone else is to fall _out _of love with Ban!"

And his whole world froze.

**Done! Sorry it took so long to update. I wanted to get this done on Thanksgiving, kind of like a gift to go with your turkey or whatever the fuck y'all eat. Anyhow, Happy Pathetically Late Thanksgiving! I hope you all enjoyed your holiday, and for those of you out on break(gAnG gAnG), I hope you all enjoyed that, too! Lastly, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. It was hard finding the words to write this one, but I did it.**

**Well, from kErMiT tHe FuCkiNg FrOg, and Tohru herself, she's here too,**

**Aloha but the goodbye version!**


	11. Greed

"Okay, so let's begin! What do you love most about Ban?"

Meliodas took a moment to think about it, finding the question quite difficult. He loved everything about Ban, from his eyes—_god_, his eyes—to his muscles to his personality. Hell, at this point, he could say he loved Ban's small intestine and it wouldn't be too far-fetched.

"Um...could you ask a question less broad?" Meliodas says. Diane gives him a look, then she and King double take-Meliodas to each other, and then back to Meliodas.

"What about," King tries, "Your favorite thing about Ban?"

Meliodas stared them down like a confused puppy.

"Where do you expect me to start?"

The couple sighed almost simultaneously-a perfect depiction of how close they were.

"Captain, if we're gonna help you, you're gonna have to cooperate." King told the man.

"I am cooperating! You're just asking hard questions!"

"How is it hard?!"

"Because I love _everything_ about him!...Almost." Meliodas glances to the side, the poker face he once had now replaced with a half-confused-half-flustered expression.

Something clicked inside of Diane when he said "almost".

"Captain," she starts, "What _don't_ you like about Ban?"

"Huh? Oh, well, um, as you could have already seen with the circumstance, he's an idiot most of the time and takes important matters very lightly. It's like if he doesn't feel like it isn't important, he brushes off the entire subject like it's nothing and doesn't take the time to consider the fact that it might mean a lot to the other person. What I'm saying is he doesn't seem to have any regard for the feelings of others, or at least not much."

"Okay, okay, that's a good start. Gowther, take it down." Diane giggles.

"Affermative!" Gowther smiles and takes mental note-almost like the memory or data on a computer.

"What else? That can't be it."

"Uh...let's see...he doesn't really appreciate what's in front of him. He focuses so much on what he doesn't have that he's blinded to what he does have. He just kind of can't be satisfied."

"Okay...Gowther."

"Got it." Gowther saves another piece of info.

"Oh, I smell what you're stepping in, Diane." King grins. Diane gives him a look of disgust for the metaphor, but doesn't question it. She's far too interested in what's going on.

"Go on, Cap'. Tell us when you're done." the fairy pats the demon on the back and takes a seat, almost like he expects to be there listening for a long time, "Get ready, Gowth'. Record everything he says."

The doll nods and proceeds to carefully watch the Captain's mouth, waiting for the next words to be spoken.

"So...hmm...he's clumsy with his words. He doesn't think about the other end and what comes out of his mouth could do to them. He's kind of messy, though I always thought it was kind of cute, so it's not much of a concern or dislike, per se. He doesn't seem to have a care in the world, is another thing, but I also think that's a little cute. But only when it's appropriate. I like an easy-going man but not when he's so easy-going that any person in front of him that isn't Elaine or his goddamn reflection has little to no meaning. Uh...what else...? Oh! I hate it when he drinks everything we have in the bar, but that's more of a public issue rather than private. I hate that he always wears crop-tops instead of regular shirts. Er, well, I don't _hate _it, but I hate what it does to me. And that's another thing! He's devastatingly dense! He has very keen senses, but only on the little things! Not the things you actually _wish_ he would notice! It's the worst."

King and Diane just listened to him ramble on and on, mentally agreeing with pretty much everything he said. They noticed that everything they said was from personal experience. Things that happened between he and Ban often. Gowther wanted to give the Captain a hug, because as he was talking about everything he hated about the man he so loved, he was very obviously getting agitated.

"Another thing is that he's so damn shameless. He could walk around in the girls' tavern uniform and act like he's just wearing a weird hat, or whatever!" Meliodas's tone, however, seemed to slightly deteriorate, which struck the three as odd.

"But the thing I hate the most about Ban...is that...he's not with me..." he looked sad all of a sudden. All of the confidence in his voice-if there ever was any-was now gone completely.

"He's so hung up on Elaine that he just tells anyone else who might have feelings for him to fuck off...always giving her so much love and attention...I wish that he would take a break from always worrying about her...and take some time to...maybe...worry about me instead." Diane shot up from her seat across from him. Meliodas's tone took one last leap of faith down into some kind of abyss.

You could hear it in his voice that he was about to cry. About to waste more tears on a man who has more flaws than he does care for anyone outside of that little bubble he created for himself and the former guardian of the Fountain of Youth. Alas, it struck some nerves in the other two, as well. King sat up on his pillow, and Gowther's magic wavered.

And, all of a sudden, tears were gliding down those sorrowful cheeks.

"He...he doesn't...I...I wish he cared enough...about what I felt...to at least acknowledge it...to acknowledge _me_...for just one day...that's all I want...!"

At once, the three were at his side, all simultaneously trying to get him to cheer up. It was getting to a point where it was ridiculous, how Meliodas was so quick to get emotional about this type of stuff. About how Ban didn't love him, and how he envies Elaine's relationship with him.

"I hate that he and I are friends...! I don't want to be his friend! I...I want to be his _everything_!"

"Shh...Shhh," Diane nervously consoled, "It's okay. I know, I know. You love him, but if he doesn't have the decency to care about your feelings, you don't deserve him anyhow. That's what we're here for, remember? We're here so we can find you someone else to love, okay?"

"Yeah, that's right. And even so, you have to remember that you're not being fair. You're trying to steal him away from my sister, and if that happens, nobody will be happy."

Meliodas stayed quiet for a short period of time, making the room silent.

"Why is this even necessary? If he won't love me, or at least care enough about me to know how I feel about him, do I even belong loving? Can't I just stay alone forever?"

"Meliodas, why did you come to earth?" Diane quizzes, determined.

The demon hesitates before giving his answer.

"To have a new life, and to find someone to share that life with." Meliodas says.

"Right. So, if you were to give up on love because of one careless man, then what was the purpose of you even stepping foot off of your realm?"

That caught Meliodas off guard, but she was right.

He started to chuckle at her.

"Here you go again with the inspirational speeches," he says, "Alright, I get the message. So, how do -you plan on making this work?"

"£$%^&*()!_+~}{: ?

**This chapter felt kind of pointless for some reason. It just feels like everything being said could have fit into a more productive chapter where more things happen. Like, what happens after this is-  
Nah, just kidding. That just ruins the rest of the story for everyone.**

**FiNd OuT nExT tiMe On DrAgOn BaLL z!**

**From Tohru herself,**

**Oh, so you're approaching me?**

**JK, seeya l8rs!**


	12. What's New?

"Okay, so let's begin! What do you love most about Ban?"

Meliodas took a moment to think about it, finding the question quite difficult. He loved everything about Ban, from his eyes—_god_, his eyes—to his muscles to his personality. Hell, at this point, he could say he loved Ban's small intestine and it wouldn't be too far-fetched.

"Um...could you ask a question less broad?" Meliodas says. Diane gives him a look, then she and King double take-Meliodas to each other, and then back to Meliodas.

"What about," King tries, "Your favorite thing about Ban?"

Meliodas stared them down like a confused puppy.

"Where do you expect me to start?"

The couple sighed almost simultaneously-a perfect depiction of how close they were.

"Captain, if we're gonna help you, you're gonna have to cooperate." King told the man.

"I am cooperating! You're just asking hard questions!"

"How is it hard?!"

"Because I love _everything_ about him!...Almost." Meliodas glances to the side, the poker face he once had now replaced with a half-confused-half-flustered expression.

Something clicked inside of Diane when he said "almost".

"Captain," she starts, "What _don't_ you like about Ban?"

"Huh? Oh, well, um, as you could have already seen with the circumstance, he's an idiot most of the time and takes important matters very lightly. It's like if he doesn't feel like it isn't important, he brushes off the entire subject like it's nothing and doesn't take the time to consider the fact that it might mean a lot to the other person. What I'm saying is he doesn't seem to have any regard for the feelings of others, or at least not much."

"Okay, okay, that's a good start. Gowther, take it down." Diane giggles.

"Affermative!" Gowther smiles and takes mental note-almost like the memory or data on a computer.

"What else? That can't be it."

"Uh...let's see...he doesn't really appreciate what's in front of him. He focuses so much on what he doesn't have that he's blinded to what he does have. He just kind of can't be satisfied."

"Okay...Gowther."

"Got it." Gowther saves another piece of info.

"Oh, I smell what you're stepping in, Diane." King grins. Diane gives him a look of disgust for the metaphor, but doesn't question it. She's far too interested in what's going on.

"Go on, Cap'. Tell us when you're done." the fairy pats the demon on the back and takes a seat, almost like he expects to be there listening for a long time, "Get ready, Gowth'. Record everything he says."

The doll nods and proceeds to carefully watch the Captain's mouth, waiting for the next words to be spoken.

"So...hmm...he's clumsy with his words. He doesn't think about the other end and what comes out of his mouth could do to them. He's kind of messy, though I always thought it was kind of cute, so it's not much of a concern or dislike, per se. He doesn't seem to have a care in the world, is another thing, but I also think that's a little cute. But only when it's appropriate. I like an easy-going man but not when he's so easy-going that any person in front of him that isn't Elaine or his goddamn reflection has little to no meaning. Uh...what else...? Oh! I hate it when he drinks everything we have in the bar, but that's more of a public issue rather than private. I hate that he always wears crop-tops instead of regular shirts. Er, well, I don't _hate _it, but I hate what it does to me. And that's another thing! He's devastatingly dense! He has very keen senses, but only on the little things! Not the things you actually _wish_ he would notice! It's the worst."

King and Diane just listened to him ramble on and on, mentally agreeing with pretty much everything he said. They noticed that everything they said was from personal experience. Things that happened between he and Ban often. Gowther wanted to give the Captain a hug, because as he was talking about everything he hated about the man he so loved, he was very obviously getting agitated.

"Another thing is that he's so damn shameless. He could walk around in the girls' tavern uniform and act like he's just wearing a weird hat, or whatever!" Meliodas's tone, however, seemed to slightly deteriorate, which struck the three as odd.

"But the thing I hate the most about Ban...is that...he's not with me..." he looked sad all of a sudden. All of the confidence in his voice-if there ever was any-was now gone completely.

"He's so hung up on Elaine that he just tells anyone else who might have feelings for him to fuck off...always giving her so much love and attention...I wish that he would take a break from always worrying about her...and take some time to...maybe...worry about me instead." Diane shot up from her seat across from him. Meliodas's tone took one last leap of faith down into some kind of abyss.

You could hear it in his voice that he was about to cry. About to waste more tears on a man who has more flaws than he does care for anyone outside of that little bubble he created for himself and the former guardian of the Fountain of Youth. Alas, it struck some nerves in the other two, as well. King sat up on his pillow, and Gowther's magic wavered.

And, all of a sudden, tears were gliding down those sorrowful cheeks.

"He...he doesn't...I...I wish he cared enough...about what I felt...to at least acknowledge it...to acknowledge _me_...for just one day...that's all I want...!"

At once, the three were at his side, all simultaneously trying to get him to cheer up. It was getting to a point where it was ridiculous, how Meliodas was so quick to get emotional about this type of stuff. About how Ban didn't love him, and how he envies Elaine's relationship with him.

"I hate that he and I are friends...! I don't want to be his friend! I...I want to be his _everything_!"

"Shh...Shhh," Diane nervously consoled, "It's okay. I know, I know. You love him, but if he doesn't have the decency to care about your feelings, you don't deserve him anyhow. That's what we're here for, remember? We're here so we can find you someone else to love, okay?"

"Yeah, that's right. And even so, you have to remember that you're not being fair. You're trying to steal him away from my sister, and if that happens, nobody will be happy."

Meliodas stayed quiet for a short period of time, making the room silent.

"Why is this even necessary? If he won't love me, or at least care enough about me to know how I feel about him, do I even belong loving? Can't I just stay alone forever?"

"Meliodas, why did you come to earth?" Diane quizzes, determined.

The demon hesitates before giving his answer.

"To have a new life, and to find someone to share that life with." Meliodas says.

"Right. So, if you were to give up on love because of one careless man, then what was the purpose of you even stepping foot off of your realm?"

That caught Meliodas off guard, but she was right.

He started to chuckle at her.

"Here you go again with the inspirational speeches," he says, "Alright, I get the message. So, how do -you plan on making this work?"

"£$%^&*()!_+~}{: ?

**This chapter felt kind of pointless for some reason. It just feels like everything being said could have fit into a more productive chapter where more things happen. Like, what happens after this is-  
Nah, just kidding. That just ruins the rest of the story for everyone.**

**FiNd OuT nExT tiMe On DrAgOn BaLL z!**

**From Tohru herself,**

**Oh, so you're approaching me?**

**JK, seeya l8rs!**


End file.
